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Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.4. Esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.6. Negligent, adj. Absent mindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.7. Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.8. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.9. Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.11. Testicle, n. A humorous question on an exam.12. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.13. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.14. Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.15. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.16. Circumvent, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish. That was the reason why he committed the unforgivable sin of neglecting to scope out the high ground near the trail and why a heavy piece of lead tore into his shoulder muscle and knocked him out of the saddle. He remembered his only thought as he fell to the hard ground was it was extremely lucky to not be in his shooting hand.He was trying to stay still and motionless hoping to forestall an insurance round to make sure he was finished. His horse made things difficult by lowering his head and nudging his head to wake him up from the unusual nap he was taking in the middle of the deserted trail. He wanted to shout out and tell him to leave him be but that would defeat his purpose of playing possum.He heard the unmistakable jingle of spurs and the muffled tread of a horse's hooves descending the rise on the foothills side of the trail and he sensed the approach of a cautious back-shooter rather than actually seeing him. His horse snorted and he heard a reply from the unknown mount. He.
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